I get hate from fellow Bellydancers (here is how I overcome it!)

Listen on the Sol Struck Podcast

Hi, I’m Marta! I grew up Bellydancing from the age of 7 with my best friend, her mum (our first teacher), my mum and my older sisters in classes! This gave me tremendous confidence and also the core belief in the importance of empowering other women to shine.

Sadly, I didn’t realise that not all woman have the same belief. There are many women out there who conspire to tare you down as soon as you do something good in this world. So when I get hate from other dancers, it can weigh on my heart pretty heavily.

What online hate can look like:

• Online Harassment

• Xenophobia

• Trolling

• Cyberbullying

• Hate Speech/Comments

• and more

I will share a recent story as an example

Honestly I wasn’t sure if I should share one of my experiences, but since this is one of the minor ones I feel that it should be okay permitted I don’t actually name any names.

I discovered that a fellow dancer had commented on one of my latest posts about one of my awesome new women’s events in Brisbane - Juicy Hips - and I saw that she had commented a GIF of a women laughing and spitting out her drink. How horrible is that? I also happened to see that she laugh reacted to this post. It’s absolutely shocking behaviour. It’s not the first time I’ve encountered such disrespect from this particular woman, but hopefully the last. You’re probably thinking, - well that’s not that bad. Well what if we look at what triggered this behaviour?

If we go back a few days before this, I recently had a past Bellydance client call me (I love that they still call me to help with their entertainment) and ask if I could perform at their Middle Eastern establishment, I live in another state of Australia now so I personally can’t perform for them, but I said that I do know some fantastic Belly dancers who could be a good fit. I asked why they wanted to move on from their current dancer and they mentioned that their customers desired a change, and the current dancer seemed to be too comfortable. They used the word “lazy” to describe the shows. Now this is honestly heart breaking. If you are a Bellydancer getting paid, you really should be taking your job seriously as opportunities can be limited in Australia. It is is a true honour to do this kind of work, so please do your job well. But I also thought that it would be a shame for the current dancer to loose her job entirely, perhaps she should be given a second chance. So I encouraged my client to keep them on with the addition of the new dancers for an awesome rotating roster of dancers. All the dancers get to perform and their customers will be happy with a new dancer each show.

As soon as this dancer found out she will be sharing her gigs, she started spreading lies about the new dancers and this caused my client to question their decision of hiring the new dancers. I’ll keep a lid on those finer details but I will tell you that as soon as I realised this was happening, I decided to disengage and remove all of us from that toxic behaviour.

So then a few days later, I saw that this hateful woman had gone to the effort to look up my profile, read my content, react to it AND comment on it. WOAH. When I saw the comment, I did get upset at first. But when I realised the mental space she would have been in to act out all of those actions, I became sad for her.

I’ve had many more experiences like this and once I learned that these women are seriously afraid, insecure and their actions are a deep cry for help, it allowed me to sit in a place of love and compassion for someone who is hurting. It certainly does not excuse their behaviour, BUT I can move on with my life and continue to support those around me who are ready for the help.

So what did I do? I left her comment there and blocked her. Maybe it will help with the algorhythm? 😂

Harnessing Hate as an Entrepreneurial Strength

It is said that if you are attracting hate, then you are doing something right. So, when I realised this, I decided to embrace it. When I encounter hate, I visualise my heart opening with white light to absorb the hate with a blanket of love.

If I remember my reason for doing what I do - my ultimate aim in life is to empower and lift up as many woman in my capacity as I can - I won’t be knocked down for long. NEVER let someone else tell you who you are, or what you stand for. Only you can decide that.

If you are experiencing hate from an unexpected source, I invite you to try to face hate with love. Compassion is the healthiest way to overcome hate in my personal experience and I hope you can find the strength to turn to love as well.

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